You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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