google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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