you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
