i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize