Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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