I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
