I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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