maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
