Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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