i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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