tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
