so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
