she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
