I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
