When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
