she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
