I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize