Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
high people should be assigned attendants
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
