Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
