Where did you get a picture of my penis
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
