I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
