What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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