She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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