This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize