I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
