The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
