I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
