my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
