Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
