I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
