Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
