Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
