If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I deserve this hangover.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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