glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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