what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
