I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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