your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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