I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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