Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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