Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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