You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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