But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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