Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
