i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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