I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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