I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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