i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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