Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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