We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
