Non-Jews are for practice
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
