in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
