she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
