I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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