Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
