Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
