you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
