I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
